I am a son of The Most High

Finally,

being a Christian is

Relevant 

again

Just like how it was always meant to be

He was Awesome

The Coolest Place on Earth

credits :SzetooWeiShya

Slow down, and breathe

Man, because he sacrifices his health in order to make money; then sacrifices his money to recuperate his health. Then he is so anxious about the future that he doesn’t enjoy the present, and as a result, he doesn’t live in the present or the future. And he lives as if he’s never going to die and then dies having never really lived.


Dalai Lama XIV, when asked what surprised him most about humanity  

What are you living for? Tomorrow or today?

Writing, Thinking, Renewing

I believe in writing. Because it jots down the you that may only be temperate, the you that was so caught in a thought that creativity and wild imaginations just starts to fall from heaven. Is that call inspiration? I’m not very sure. But this is one of those moments that I wrote down in January, this was that me:

30/1/2012 Kuching

I would like to say that I am a writer, but I prefer to call myself a "thinker" as the former seems to have a prerequisite for excellent literacy.

I was in the car with dad today when I realized, we don't talk much in the car, but we do travel a lot together. To the farms, around the city, to the waterfalls or other unknown places that he could think of. And for most of the time, it never felt awkward; the car zones through the sceneries outside while it was perfect silence in the car. I'm not sure what's going on in his mind but in mine it would be a continuous surge of 'imaginity' if there's such a thing.  I would be thinking of scenarios that never happened, of daring ideas to the world's problems, of contingencies, of thoughts, of words and beautiful things.

It could go on for hours while every little thing that flips through the windshield just adds on to the unseen world of my imagination. I'm not sure whether the thoughts caused the silence or the other way around, but what I do know is that the imaginations were always with me through my growing up as a kid. My family’s in a business, so we had lots of chores to do. Whether it was done with a willing heart, I remember during all those times of long hour work, of selling things by the road or farming in the orchard, my mind would be overflowing with things.

I think a lot, sometimes too much. Maybe it sprung out of an anxious personality that I used to be, or maybe it is just plain wild imagination that the world never really thought us to harness. Or thinking back, maybe those were the times that the God that I never knew who love me and created me, have been keeping me in company and telling me great and wonderful things I could never have dreamt as a child. Usually, if I don't write them down into any tangible form and review it, a world of wonders that seem almost so real would vanish like a dream, never to be recall.

However having too much thoughts and not knowing how to manage them may land me in the wonderland that isn’t all that wonderful. Being the “thinker” that I am, I would sometimes over-think certain things. It became a subtle form of anxiety which may seem harmless, or even wise, but slowly would develop itself into agony. Being overly worried, thinking of things that are in people's mind that which are not actually what they are thinking, making pre-mediated ideas 3 steps before a present situation. It wasn’t that fun anymore.

I think that was why I became apprehensive in a lot of things back then. Defensive and protective of myself, not knowing that I was protecting myself from good and great things as well.

I read about what Jesus said of being “child-like”, and that was exactly what I was not. Worrying was a denial to my mouth but a hard truth in my conscious. Worrying simply means having the foolish thought that of “let me handle this”. There was just too much going through my mind and isn’t that how stress starts to creep in.

I use to despise my mind, complaining that it does too many things at one go and all I want is just to be at apiece. When seeing a situation, it can be much more delightful to be simple and welcoming than to formulate 5 different angles of perspective that may not even be valid or reasonable at one go. It does seem like a gift, an unpolished diamond if you will, but it truly wasn’t pleasant-ful.

A lot of renewing was going on as I deliberately decided to be “child-like”. Not childish but “child-like”, meaning to me as being not overly-thoughtful and over-concern of things. Especially when I witness unexplainable things that God is doing which simply baffles your mind, the normal me would default-ly generate possible conclusions to try to explain things and satisfy the inner self. I thank God that He has not helped me in that way, conversely He continues to blow up my mind and thoughts until I just have to surrender and say, I don’t really know everything.

Since then, I started to learn to manage my wild thoughts. Harness them and be in control of them instead of the way around. Be constantly aware that God is speaking through my thoughts and learn to receive and dissect them.

I believe that my thought-full mind with an extra ‘l’ is who I learn to accept as. Despite the struggles and pain it has brought, it was a God-given thing. Under proper management, learning and yielding, it will be where I shall find my full potential.  

And that was me few months ago with some adding here and there. I do believe in writing because it records down my progression as a person. All the write-ups are not full representation of the author because I know what I strongly hold on to now may differ progressively. The me in January and the me in June almost looks and sounds like two different person as I pursue the renewing of my mind and the perceiving of things around me. With that said, although I don't know how and what, I will soon, not be the me now.

And that to me, is exciting.

photo credits to mingchun

A Red-Hot Tuesday, (Just to Counter the All-So-Famous Monday Blues)

Ditched our double-decker and camped on the floor last night with my roommate because it was too hot;

Was waken up by my housemate this morning because I was lazing over my snooze-time knowing without the wake up nudge I would definitely be late for work;

Went to the kitchen after I woke up and found super cute sandwiches ready, made and delivered by my neighbor!;

Texted my dad to ask when is he flying over to be treated by my first pay check dued this Wednesday on the way to the bus-stop;

Had a great talk with God and He told me many secrets on the cramped bus while going for work that I grinned myself among the morning bus-mates;

Was shared of the glory encounters my colleague had over her church camp last weekend at work and I knew the office atmosphere shifted.

As of today, my work in the office is designing, cutting and pasting

Just feel like running to everyone and giving them a great big hug!

What a great great day it is! And it's only the beginning :)

Blessed day everyone!

Good morning world

Imba-nya!

Partying the Malaysian way

Look at how the ministers put their hands in the air!

Maybe we should sing this song in proms? :)

All things shall be added to you

Its a shiny Tuesday morning. As I munched the left-over Oreo's from the Singapore trip with a messy cup of powdered milk in front of the laptop, I just felt the urged to express the awesomeness of this God I believe in.

4 years ago, around this time of the year was a tough time for the 18th year old me. Being thrown and torn between choices of further education, I was deeply shattered when I was told my dream occupation wasn't going to be realized- Architecture. Above it all, growing up with parents that had overseas education with one even spending more than half a decade somewhere far flung from the homeland, I assumed I was going to be just like them. I will be having friends of different nations going for road trips on weekends or sharing dinner with dishes of all nationalities in a warm fire-lit apartment during winter.

However reality was even though one of a twinning college was desperate of offering me a Diploma scholarship which then will lead me to Melbourne University 3 years later, a painful decision was made to forgo that dream option for financial reasons.

Hence I came to this random-never-heard-of college which was too far away from what I've always expected, bitterly. Back then all I do online is blog and read blogs, which kennysia.com was one of my tophits. And all this guy does is travel, travel and travel. And with such influence, I was really bitter. It may sound a little childish but imagine growing up hearing stories of overseas studies, the huge late-night library trips camping amidst books that smells of its age, the summer break holidays in all its excitement; and with all the expectation building up like a big diamond ball, which looks too beautiful only to be smashed right back to the floor.

Wells I'm just writing how I felt back then. I'm way over all this emotional cocos. 4 years later, I've never been so grateful for being able to finish my studies in this random-never-heard-of college that I once thought and there is no place I rather be than in this part of the country. With the friends I've made, the great life I've been having, and the God I've encountered. Strange thing is, just when I've settled with myself that I'm really fine staying in Malaysia for the rest of my life having no regrets and bitterness for no overseas experience, things start happening...

2 years ago around this time as well, Mum bought me a return flight to Australia, the land I was supposed to go if I were to be studying Architecture in Taylors, just one year earlier! I travelled around the Kangaroo Land for a month taking photos around the vicinity of Melbourne and Sydney. I went to that renowned University that I've dreamt of studying at, walk around the gardens and sit in one of its lecture. It was an amazing experience indeed, just when I thought I had no opportunity to go overseas.

2 years later, the whole family renewed/made their passports for a family trip to New Zealand for 2 weeks driving along the coastal scenic lines. Cramming in bedrooms, eating peaches everyday and barbequeing dinners together. I honestly never expected this to come to pass seeing the fact that the family has always been extra careful with huge spendings. I mean, I've heard of other families having family trips (I have a friend that travels to at least one country with the family each year) but my family?? WOW. Just when I thought I had no opportunity to go overseas.

One year from now, I'd HAVE TO go to Birmingham for my Masters programme, which was never in the plan since the beginning of college. I'm actually excited not over the overseas-euphoria, but the fact that I'm going this time just because I have to. Bill Johnson puts it best, "God is so awesome that sometimes He skips all your prayer list right down to something you never prayed for but don't mind having".

And just when you think this is the end of the story, here goes a super random thing that just redefines the person I believe in.

In the midst of my last semester, one of my lecturer rang me up and asked whether I would like to go for an English test, "which is kind of like IELTS but its from Cambridge" says her. Well I thought I don't mind having an extra qualification, and since the college is paying for everything, why not? I thought I was real lucky to be called since there is tonnes of students in college that has better command of English than me, but so happen this lecturer only got to choose a handful of students she knew, I happen to be one of them.

So i went for the exams with a bunch of others. It wasn't a tough level English test because the name was- FCE (First Certificate in English). I didn't really prepared much after I saw the name of the exams. haha. Afterall all we need is a pass to get that certificate.

Months later, the lecturer rang up and told me my exams result. I apparently done pretty well (94/100) which I never thought of because I knew I could pass but never expected something like that. She told me to be in touch because my scores qualified me for a public speaking competition. I really do love speaking in public so I rang up the phone and just smile.

1 week ago, right before going to Singapore (just when I thought I had no opportunity to go overseas.) to attend "Kingdom Invasion Conference" I checked my gmail and found out the details of the public speaking competition which made me laugh and laugh and laugh in joy towards this amazing God that just love to spoil you with things:

Cambridge ESOL Public Speaking Competition

Date: 12th April 2012

Time: 930AM-1230AM

Venue: Random-never-heard-of College

No. of Participants: 7

Top Prize:

Air ticket to CAMBRIDGE for the International Finals

And just when I thought I had no opportunity to go overseas

Canterbury Plain

"A smile can do wonders, and the best part of it is it cost us nothing to give"

-Anonymous

Saw this while browsing through the funny gift cards on a shelf in one of the many mushrooming souvenir shop in Franz Josef. It just baffles me of how the simplicity of a line of words hidden among stacks of cards can carry so much impact and importance of what the world needs today.

It was in one of the many motels that we stayed in during the holiday where me and my brothers camped out in the TV room watching a Christian sermon late at night. The young skinny looking preacher was talking about wisdom. "Wisdom from the bible talks of right standing with God, self and people. It basically means, being human".

Sometimes, we really just forget about being who we are, if we actually knew who that is. We be who people think we are, we live in impressions of people or the unsound expectations of others. We may even grew up being sculptured by the erosion of false humanity definitions, of first impressions over character and pleasure over honor, responding to situations and making decisions based unknowingly on the presumptions of the world. Slowly, we numb ourselves to our own heart, that which makes us who we are. I wasn't immune of this, at all.

The 2 weeks get-away cannot be more timely. At the crossroad from a college student life to beyond. It was like a great big window, with the inside as what I knew and who I am; and the outside as things yet to explored and he who I would be. It gave me the time and space to ponder over the experiences, my character and life values that I accumulated through the past; the time needed for me to pick up myself to move on to another unknown phase of life, into things unfamiliar with, unheard of and unseen before; the courage needed to dream and dream big; and the faith I need to decide to climb, outside that window eventually into endless possibilities.

Truly it was a great holiday. Not only was I enjoying the post-cardish sceneries, the self-cooked lamb chops which unlike Malaysia are not available in frozen pieces, the priceless moments with the family, but it was as well a wonderful time with me, my thoughts and God. We spent a lot of time talking. It really does feel like those vintage music videos where you're in a travelling vehicle, with breathe-taking landscapes zooming by your window and all you cared about was your pen and notebook, losing yourself in your thoughts.

Human came from somewhere and I for real would definitely not accept the theory of having monkey great grandfathers. After all it's just a theory. Humans came from the wildest imagination, beliefs and thoughts of the greatest inventor, God. He had us in mind and a desire to fellowship with such living beings that were then unknown. With great love He breathe His life into a new creature and created humans. Well the rest of the story we all knew, humans departed from His Creator and started life by himself. And hence fast forward some thousands of years, we have now a society that tries to explain life and self from our own limited mind, coming out with things like evolution, terrorism, sexual abusiveness, suicides and among the greatest, atheism.

To be really human, and to live out that real definition of life, comes only through the acknowledgement that there is a God and a God that didn't just created us and dump ourselves to our own foolishness to kill each other but a God that actually intended since the beginning to have a relationship with humans. I know I am not immune to the lies of the world, and that this holiday getaway really plugged me out of my normal routine to think about things I would never if otherwise thought of.

To be human, "is to have right relationship with God, self and people". Ah.. The simplicity of a line of words that we overlooked or probably never looked because it was hidden behind that stacks of postcards among a hidden shelf.

I am truly grateful, to be reveal of such simple and yet wonderful revelation. That my relationship with God stands out more than the importance of my serving, my responsibilities and commitments

; that my relationship with myself should be real, that I should not be prison by the imagineries and expectations of others, but to pay close attention to what my heart is singing

; and that my relationship with people, my parents and siblings especially, are of such importance over my achievements in life. My love and laying down for the needy and down-casted, are way more important than recognition and acceptance.

Thank You Lord, that you've created humans. As complicated as we ourselves have make things to be, Your intentions never changed and for that, I shall keep that smile on me for the rest of my days.

Say cheese!

Let it be so

Thankfulness

Just got off the plane from a one week get-away with the family. What a great trip it was. It was always rare to be able to spend time with the family since mum has been working away from home since I could remember and that now the family is seperated by the South China Sea due to studies and work purposes. Being able to just do things together again was amazing despite the flares and sparks ignited through gentle brushes over one another's shoulders. Dad being cranky sometimes, us being impatient or lazy, and mum going on and on about petty things etc.

But oh well, it doesn't have to be perfect, it isn't. But that's perfectly alright because there's where loves has a chance to come in to compel the gives and takes over each other's shortcomings and rough edges. Love you all. Mum and dad, thanks for your sacrificial love that may or may not be evident to the eyes. Maybe we're still too young to be able to fully appreciate all that you have done. Forgive us for that. But we know you want and mean only the best for us. Truly deeply, I pray for the greatest things imaginable for you all.

Sometimes I wish the family could just be together at all times where I would get to say "Dad, I'm home" every evening and have dinner at the same old familiar places with the family each night. I guess that's not always the case. However being away really thought me to appreciate every moment I have with the family, everyone of them.

Away from the biological family and being look after by the spiritual family really cradles the soul and spirit from the waves of emotional cravings and the need of feeling belonged. I was amazed at how well taken care I was from being toast a minute from the coziness of being with my immediate family to the comfort and fellowship of my spiritual brothers and sisters the next, never having a split chance to feel lonely and all that unnecessary emotions. For this I give thanks and rejoice!

Above it all, I just know that God is and has always been watching over me wherever I go, whomever I am with. Knowing that your Creator and source of being watches over you gives such radical assurance to my perplex-prone heart with such anchored and solid protection that I shall fear nothing in the face of change and lack. There will be absolutely no room for regrets, sorrow and ill-feelings for the God that watches over me fills my heart with joy and assurance. That everything is being taken care of better than I could imagine and all I have to do is trust in Him.

Thank you Lord for taking care of me, my family, and everything else that ticks with time.

Just, Thank You

ALL

*drew this on the car porch while spring cleaning my house

Transiting

January 12th - February 1st (3 weeks) -----------Kuching

February 2nd - February 7th (1 week) ----------- Kota Kinabalu

February 8th - February 14th (1 week) ---------- Kuala Lumpur

February 15th-February 28th (2 weeks) ----------New Zealand

February 29th - March 12nd (2 weeks) -----------Kuala Lumpur

March 13th - March 17th (5 days) ------------------Singapore

Got my camera in my bag and a notebook I got from Christmas, and I'm off with the Holy Spirit to take the month off. Will be thinking and praying over my future through this month before making decisions on my transit of the next phase of life.

Pray along with me?

As you go, preach this message: 'The kingdom of heaven is near.' Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give. - Matthew 10:7-10

Yeah let's take this message to the ends of the world!