Enlightenment

By a magical mismatched of accident and chance, i found myself sitting in a highly luxurious car with a handsome man in his thirties driving beside while tapping on his blackberry which looks twice the size of mine. The whole world looks different out the windows of a Mercedez Benz, the smell of luxury and the comfort of the moment lit up the heavy situation that was going on then.

The same bb message tone slipped out of someone's pocket and I checked whether it was mine or his. Mum texted me. And the tone of my mum sparks of the great expectations of my parents for me. They knew i had no problems in my studies and with that unconsciously ringing at the back of their heads, i believe the person driving beside me would be the exact person they would want me to be.

Caught in the moment of enjoying the powerful engine roaring smoothly on the road, I did agree with myself that this, the whole feeling at that moment would be what I want in my future, a goal of some sort, a benchmark that my life was good.

But then it hit me. Although it felt like that blow came far from the reality that my thoughts were dwelling in, an opposing thought kept disturbing me from dawning deeper into my self-indulgence. Although I know i would really look very good in those tailor made slacks, formal shirt button till my wrist, a fabric tie with tangible patterns on it, well gel up hair, and a slick car that passer-bys can't miss, yes all this really marks what everyone classify success as, but something just kept telling me that this isn't the picture.

All those things are awesome to have, really awesome. Who says material things can't satisfy us? If it can't, then why is everyone all out looking for iphone 4, blackberries, gadgets, shoes, fashion and more. To dawned myself back into the picture, those things really would bring much sparkles into my life if i were to have them.

But, putting aside all those for a while, i do feel satisfied with my life already. To have friends, to be able to learn new things, to have the privilege of helping others, to have personally experience God and talk to Him everyday, to see more people knowing this God that loves them beyond condition, that really fulfills me.

Do i still want all the luxuries then? Why not? But not to the extend of robbing away my sense of knowing how to enjoy each and every detail of my every day, the moments even though if it is just sitting beside a dirty road having dinner with a bunch of new friends while rats run along the corner of our eyes, the times where we kept on praying even though the rain was getting heavier, the compliments you get from someone you wished "happy birthday to", the snapshots of peace and joy in people around me, and that hyped of biting into a Ramly burger with a glass of limau-ice. Aren't all these much more fulfilling? :)


I guess the biggest thing that i would not trade away at any cost in my life now is just these two things, knowing God, and enjoying the life He gave and planned for me :)